So here it is - all of my high flying goals of improving 5k and half marathon times are stifled as I am recovering from one of the nastiest illnesses I've endured to date. It has been several days of complete delirium and the inability to breathe due to this asthma that has come on with this flu. I am very grateful for a childhood friend who is now a doc - who has rescued me with this inhaler - and tomorrow will see me at the doorstep of a new doc in hopes that I will figure out if this will be something I need to constantly be babying.
My fever has finally broken but unfortunately there has been no partying to ring in the new year as I am hunkered down and willing myself better. The Princess Half Marathon is quickly approaching and I NEED AIR! I NEED TO BREATHE!
My faithful dog Tuscan has not left my side- nor has my darling husband Matt. (not in order of gratitude!)
- I need to recalibrate my plan of attack. I want so much to run - to be better. To be at the race! To feel the excitement and adrenaline! Not a lot of people know that I have breathing issues but it comes to attack me now and then.
-Its unfortunate that now is one of those times.
Taking things one day at a time and hoping that tomorrow brings a little more comfort and air.
- My dreams were tormented lastnight by wild nightmares of running down aisles of multicolored scarves that were leaping out to bind around my neck, choking me in big satin lead bows. People would bump into me in these endless aisles of scarves but there was no way out! They would hug me and adjust my bow and send me back down the aisle whirling between the slippery and deadly accessories! I woke drenched in sweat and feeling like hands were just closing in around my neck - I had to get up and distract myself for a little while by sitting in the dark living room, on a cool black chair - until the remnants of the night mare cleared away with the morning fog of January 1, 2013 - this new years day.
Many people take this time to reflect upon the happenings of the last year- but I admit I have not. I am simply living within this moment - this heartbeat - this very intake of precious air.
It is very hard to describe this asthmatic sensation to someone who has not experienced it first hand. Pretty much - I believe it is as if someone were sitting upon your chest and trying to choke you at the same time . . . all the time. It is extremely unsettling and of course it throws the workouts out of whack! I haven't worked out in 4 days! yikes!
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crossing fingers and hoping that tomorrows dawn will not see me dead- but instead glowing peacefully with vitality and health.
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All the best to you and the ones you love.
Minda
ps -
this was not meant to sound so gloomy -
but when air is in question, my eyelashes are on the table and all bets are off.
- seriously
i just want to breathe and workout again =(
